What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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