You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
