well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
