Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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