Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
