the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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