this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
