So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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