just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
