worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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