She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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