haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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