she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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