Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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