Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
