She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Can you bring me the toilet please
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
