that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
