its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I think I sprained my soul last night
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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