Are we in a gay sports bar?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Randomize
