remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
