You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize