this beer tastes like vomit already
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
