he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Randomize
