I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
