i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
