wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
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