Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
