too bad you live with your parents still
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
