sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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