doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Randomize
