He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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