Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Randomize
