Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
