those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
