I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
