Joe is yelling at the trees again.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
