I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
