in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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