Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
