I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
