while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
