My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
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