her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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