Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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