You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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