And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
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