Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
