I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
