He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
