question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
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